Suffolk Humanists

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Are you ready?

Posted by Margaret on Saturday, May 14, 2011

Rapture billboard

I hope you haven’t made any plans for the end of October onwards, because we’re all going to fry, apparently, on the 21st October. The world will be destroyed by fire, say those who hope to be “God’s elect people”, but they’re not expecting to be here after the 21st of this month, when The Rapture happens and they’re all swept up into heaven to leave us unbelievers behind.

Our webmaster was planning to spend six months in Ghana from the beginning of next month but now he’s beginning to wonder if he should change his plans. There’s a signboard near the university in Kumasi, where he’s going, warning people to be “saved”. If he hasn’t been saved, it’s a waste of money buying that plane ticket.

It’s good to know that between 21st May and 21st October (when the world’s destroyed by fire) there are helpful atheists who are willing to care for the pets of those who’ve gone to live with Jesus (or wherever it is they go). Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA, say

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable. For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

I mentioned the Rapture on Facebook the other day, wondering what the fundamentalist Christians will say if it doesn’t happen. What if God forgets? He, she or it may be distracted by whatever’s happening in another part of the universe. A friend responded, “He’d better not forget. I’m looking forward to all of them not being here.” She has a point. There’d be more room for the rest of us, until the 21st October.

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